The Most Conscious Person in the Room

Last week I was in a job interview and the person interviewing me asked me how I handle tricky dynamics. My credentials at handling tricky dynamics come primarily from my intense life experience of lone parenting five humans - all of whom have assorted challenges. I’m also a qualified mediator. Those answers should be sufficient, but what allows me to deal with tricky situations most effectively is that often I find myself being the most conscious person in the room. I say this not to big myself up, it’s not a competition, I’m not the most conscious person who ever existed, (there’s way more conscious people out there and I so wanna hang with them). I’m saying it because it’s true, and when you know you are the ‘most conscious person in the room’ you have responsibilities to everyone else around you.

Here’s an example to better explain the concept. There’s a carpark in Letterkenny that I do my best to avoid, but sometimes I have to go there. I’ve dubbed it the ‘Carpark of Unconsciousness’ as whatever happens to people when they get in there, many seem to forget to obey the rules of the road. Stop signs are routinely ignored and you can forget about right-of-way rules. It feels like a dangerous place, because it is a dangerous place.

When I drive there I say to myself, “The most conscious person in the room has to be the most conscious person in the room”. I say this to remind myself of my obligations to others. What does that mean exactly? It means I’m conscious enough to know that other people behave strangely in this space, and therefore I must act with more caution and awareness than I have to when I’m not the most conscious person in the room (or carpark, or workplace, or whatever). So I acknowledge and accept the deep unconcious behaviour of my fellow drivers around me, and I do my best to keep myself, and them safe. I anticipate their reckless drive through the stop sign, the lack of indication, their not-looking before reversing.

I bring this same level of awareness and consciousness to the majority of my interactions with other humans. I can now tell if the waiter or barista is aware and together enough to take my full order, (latte, one shot, extra hot, no froth). Or if they will miss one - or on rare occassions, miss two - of my extra instructions. I can tell within a few moments if my coffee desires will be fulfilled or not, and I adjust my order according to what the person serving me is capable of giving me.

Being the most conscious person in the room can be a bummer. It often means lowering your expectations (see above coffee example) and it can mean seeing how a situation is likely to play out and knowing there is nothing you can do to stop it, as no one involved has any openness to listening.

The saying ‘With great power comes great responsibility’ relates directly to my ‘most conscious person in the room’ creed. Being conscious is a type of power, it can give insights and awarenesses that other people don’t have. But it can be frustrating and lonely at times too.

I recall a former workplace where I tried to gently warn my boss that an approach he was taking with staff was likely to sow division. He ignored me, division was inevitably sown, and work became hellish with lots of sub-dramas emerging from this one bad, unconscious decision.

So back to my interview where in answer to the question of how I deal with tricky situations, I explained my ‘Most conscious person in the room’ value statement. It’s a hard one to explain without sounding like I’m suggesting I think I’m better than other people, but I hopefully achieved it in the interview, and here now, with you. I don’t think the kind of people who subscribe to my posts are people that need a lot of minding. I think you’re the people realising that you’re the most concsious person in the room, but maybe you’ve never had words for it before, and that’s where I come in.